I just skimmed through my last post, and although my life is still good... it's been a hard week or so. When I hit week two of no communication with Sterling, I kind of lost it a bit. It was hard for me to even talk about him without tearing up a bit.
And then I made a HUGE mistake. I drank a (few) glass(es) of wine on Friday night and basically lost it. I can honestly say that is the first time I have cried myself to sleep since he has been gone. I feel like that was my low, and I'm better for hitting it. I mean, everyone needs a good cry here and there, right? I'm still missing Sterling like crazy, but I'm making myself be busy with everything else so that I don't think about it. And boy am I busy!!!
Med school is hard. Med school + Lab work for my PhD program = super hard.
I'm am more and more convinced (with every day of med school) that God didn't put me here just because he wants me to be an awesome doctor someday, but rather, I am where I am so that I can get through this separation.
Sorry if I'm bumming you out... I feel like I talk about the same thing every time I post. Sterling. Ohhhh but I love him :)
You should send some good thoughts my way, I'm starting my "Get up at 5am and Workout" routine tomorrow. We will see how this goes.
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