End of the year post!

Wow, it has been quite some time since I've updated. But really, the end of November and most of December are a blur. Mostly because all I was doing was studying and knitting and anxiously awaiting the arrival of my husband for his Christmas visit. The studying and knitting stuff was quite boring, other than the fact that I've actually been making money knitting/crocheting (awesome). 

The visit from the husband? Awesome, of course. I've gotten so used to him being gone that it's almost weird when he visits now. How sad is that? We had our own little family Christmas this year. We came up with some new traditions, such as: Making a gingerbread house (out of real gingerbread of course) with a barrel full of monkeys (inside joke...), going to look at Christmas lights after the Christmas Eve service at church, opening pajamas on Christmas Eve and watching Christmas Vacation :) 

Because we were on budget Christmas, our presents were kind of lame. Especially Sterlings... I feel bad, but since he starts Ranger School on the 1st, he'd be unable to take anything he got with him and how much of a bummer would that be? So he mainly got money and stuff he needed for Ranger School (such as warm socks!)

With that said, he left a couple days ago and I've been absolutely pathetic. I didn't get out of bed until 2pm today. So lame... but without school as a distraction, it's hard to make myself go and do anything productive. I was seriously contemplating boycotting New Years this year as I am really not looking forward to 2012. We start it off with Ranger School on the 1st. It will be AT LEAST 60 days long and I'll only get to talk to Sterling once every 3 weeks. I will most likely be heading down to Georgia for my spring break and Sterling's Ranger school graduation in March, then he will be off to Airborne school (jumping out of planes? Crazy). After Airborne he will head to Ft. Campbell where he will finally meet up with his unit. He has informed me that his unit will most likely be deploying this summer/fall. Deployments are typically 9 months and with him being in the infantry, contact will be pretty slim as he'll be out in the field a lot. So in a nutshell, 2012 will suck. I will be away from/not in contact with my husband more than I will be with him/able to talk to him.

Sorry about the pity party. And don't worry, although I was all for boycotting New Years, I'll be spending it with my brother and sister in law, probably drinking massive amounts of wine. I'm okay with it. It is what it is.

I'll be honest, what prompted me to blog was the survey that Alex did... so without further adieu, the end of the year questionnaire!

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?

Knit! I've always wanted to learn, but I was never able to make myself sit down and do it... and now it is my favorite thing! 

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don't even remember if I made resolutions... so therefore I probably won't be keeping them. I will be making some for this next year, the biggest is to run a marathon this year. Seems impossible now, but I know I can do it.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
The post-doc in my lab just recently had a baby boy. Also, some good friends in my lifegroup had a beautiful baby girl in the spring. There have been a lot of pregnancies that will result in 2012 babies that I am oh-so-excited about!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Not this year, thank goodness

5. Where did you travel to?
In the spring and summer I traveled all over Michigan for some weddings that I was in. Other than that, I traveled to Georgia to visit Sterling this past November.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
A schedule. Medical school is weird in that you can do basically everything from home if you want... but I am so terrible at managing my own time that I NEED a schedule. 

I also need to have a steady workout schedule. I was so horrible about this in 2011, especially after Sterling left. In addition to working out more, I need to be in contact with friends more. I spent too much of 2011 sad and lonely because I refused to reach out. No more of this!

7. What events from 2011 stand out the most to you?
Carolyn and Andrea's wedding, Sterling graduating and leaving in May, all the visits, my white coat ceremony

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Getting through it! This has been the biggest year of change... and hard change. Adjusting to being a military wife and starting medical school is a huge achievement if I do say so myself.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Getting awesome grades... I passed my classes, but I could have done better. Also eating healthy and exercising (at least as much as I used to)

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I was so fortunate in that I did NOT have any illnesses or injuries... with the exception of the cold that I got last week. Suckfest.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My newest tattoo. I love it so much :)

12. What person helped you most in 2011?
Probably my sister in law, Abbi. When I had my mental breakdowns, she was the one I always called. Also my lifegroup has been an amazing source of comfort for me the past year.

13. What discoveries did you make in 2011?
That not having a roommate that works out/eats healthy makes me not do either of those things. Medical school is hard (and very similar to being in high school again). That being an Army wife kind of sucks. That I can sell my knitted items for cash money (made almost $200 this year :).

14. Where did most of your money go?
Student loans. We are working like crazy to get them paid off before I graduate from MSU so we have no debt when I am finished with school.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Any time I got to see my husband.

16. What were some of the hardships in 2011?
Having my best friend/husband live in Kentucky and Georgia for over half the year. Sorry... this is a common theme in 2011.

17. How have you grown since this time last year?
I've learned that although I hate it, I can be okay without seeing and talking to Sterling for long periods of time. So I guess I would call that independence?

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
I wish I would have spent more time with friends/people. I spent way too much time by myself this past year!

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Being distracted by the computer... needlessly

20. How did you spend the holidays?
I honestly can't remember most of them... This is why I should blog more, for my own sake. I already talked about Christmas. Thanksgiving was with both families and really weird because it was the first real holiday without Sterling. The fourth of July was at my parents as usual for their huge hick bonfire/illegal fireworks show. Easter we had dinner at both families then shot guns out at my parents farm (another hick tradition). Halloween I stayed home and passed out halloween candy. We didn't really do anything for Valentines day... and I can't remember what we did for New Years.

21. Did you fall in love in 2011?
Not really... 

22. What was your favorite TV show?
Dexter, Mad Men, How I met your mother

23. Other favorites from 2011?
My new house, my new computer, knitting, oreo balls, and a lot of other food that is NOT good for me...

24. What was the best book you read?
 My brother in law got me hooked on the Game of Thrones series. I also will always love the Wheel of Time series.

25. The hobby you spent the most time on?
Definitely knitting.

26. What did you want and get?
Haha the only thing I can think of is the new winter coat I got for Christmas. It's freaking amazing and the warmest coat in the history of coats. 

27. What did you want and not get?
I really wanted Sterling to bring up some Army swag so I could put it all over my car and stuff and brag about him... he said not yet, not until he is a Ranger. Weirdo.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
I really, really enjoyed The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
On my real birthday I studied, because I had an exam the next day. Boo. On the weekend of my birthday I went to the Whiskey Barrel and drank entirely too much and rode a mechanical bull. I turned 25... so old.  

30. What is your favorite quote from 2011?
Have love, give love

If it was easy, everyone would do it

31. How would you describe your personal fashion in 2011?
So lazy. Medical school makes you a lazy slob when it comes to fashion. Let's just say that lots of scrubs, yoga pants, and sweats were worn in 2011.

32. What kept you sane?
My husband, Hank, caffeine, candy, knitting

33. What was your occupation in 2011?
Student

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Healthcare. Also, they almost passed a bill that would cut funding to residency programs which would make it harder for this girl to someday get a job... thank goodness it didn't go through

35. Who did you miss?
So many people. All of my friends from CMU, old roomies, guard girls, dance girls, etc

36. Who was the best new person you met?
My class in med school is awesome. There are so many cool people that I am excited to get to know better :)

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011?
If you want to see change in yourself, you have to change

38. Who lives in your home with you this year?
My roommate Emaly, my dog Hank, her dog Abby and her cat Sid

39. What are your plans for this New Year’s Eve?
Hanging out with Adam and Leah and their dog Maddie (and Hank of course)

 

40. What are your plans for 2012?
Run more, study more, use my time wisely, love on my husband as much as I can, make money knitting, spend less time sitting and more time doing.

A long overdue update

So I always mean to update... but then I don't because I don't even know where to start. For that reason this is going to be a bullet point blog:

• Just visited Sterling in Georgia. Let's just say that the world is a little bit different on an Army base.
• I received another grant for this semesters tuition so all I am paying for my spring semester is $750. Awesome. So very, very awesome.
• My hubby isn't planning on staying in the army after his commitment. This means we will get to live together in only about 4 more years.
• Starting January 1st I will only get to talk to Sterling once every 2 weeks until mid-March. 
• Sterling will most likely be deployed in the fall of next year.
• Sterling gave me a brilliant idea of how to study. I record myself reviewing the lecture/hitting the main points and then I can re-listen to it while I walk Hank, go to the gym, knit, etc...
• Now that I can study and knit at the same time, I've offered my skills and I'm currently making things for three different people and making money for it... baller!
• I baked my first turkey today and it was delicious. Absolute success!
• I've gained weight :( boooooo... time to get on the running bandwagon again.
• Found out today that I have to take a graduate writing course this summer... along with 12 credits of medical courses. BOOOOOO.
• Tomorrow I am going out with a bunch of people from medical school for my birthday. Yeah line-dancing :)
• My house is extremely drafty. However, I bought material to make thermal curtains. Bonus!
• I have to get up early tomorrow morning to sacrifice mice. On my birthday. Booooo.
• I am praying to get closer to my family over the break. I sometimes feel like they have forgotten about me, just because I am so busy with medical school.
• I miss all of you. So much. Medical school is fun, but it really feels like I am back in high school and I have to try so hard to impress people. With you, it was just easy. Miss you girls.
• Time for bed... busy day tomorrow!

Procrastination...

Salutations blog followers (to the few of you out there...)!

I'm exhausted, but not quite ready for bed yet so I thought I'd write a little ditty on here before I hit the hay.

First and foremost, STERLING WILL BE HERE ON FRIDAY!!! Excited? Oh yes.

However, I have an exam Monday morning and Tuesday morning. Excited? Oh NO.

Due to this, I have been studying like a beast this week. I had an exam on Monday (which I rocked btw... 43/45? I'll take it!) and since then I've been studying for my exams next week along with trying to get everything done that I need to get done before Sterling gets here. It'll happen tomorrow. Hopefully.

You know what really sucks? The exam next Monday is 25% of my grade! AHHHH! 

Oh medical school. 

*Le sigh*

On another note, I've had an interesting revelation about my future plans. Although I've always wanted to go to medical school, I've never really shown a particular interest in a particular path in medicine. In other words, I want to be a doctor, but I don't know what KIND of a doctor. However, while talking with Sterling about it not too long ago, he helped me by asking what kind of a doctor I DON'T want to be. Which turns out, I know quite well. I don't want to do pediatrics, obgyn, surgery, emergency, or primary care. That rules out a lot of the big hitters. I've always thought I would stick to a residency in Internal Medicine, but the next step wasn't clear until I realized what I'm the most interested in... and so Ladies and Gentlemen (although I don't think I have any male readers) I'm pretty (like 87%) sure that I am going to take the route of an Endocrinologist, and I am pretty excited about that. 

So as of now, here is the Sandi timeline of events:

Now - 2013: Pre-clerkship classes and the first step of the boards

2013 - 2015: Finish PhD

2015 - 2017: Clerkships/Graduate with DO in May

2017 - 2020: Internal Medicine Residency

2020 - 2022: Fellowship in Endocrinology

In 2022 I will be 36. That is when I will be all finished with my "training"

Wow... this just got a little depressing! Here, maybe I should add some other things to the time line to make things look a bit better.

Now - 2013: Pre-clerkship classes and the first step of the boards

2013 - 2015: Finish PhD (we'll probably have all our undergraduate loans paid off by this time, so we'll start saving money for that house we'll buy down the road...)

2015 - 2017: Clerkships/Graduate with DO in May

Move back in with Sterling... start making babies like we're rabbits

2017 - 2020: Internal Medicine Residency (hopefully in an Army hospital in Germany or Italy!)

2020 - 2022: Fellowship in Endocrinology (back in the US at either a well funded Army Research Hospital or any plain old Research Hospital)

Buy a house and finally nest :)

Cure diseases

Win Nobel Prize

Retire and open up a doggie day care

Now, I'm not sure if things will go exactly like that, but I'm hoping they follow that general pattern. If I had things my way, I'd start popping babies out sooner. If Sterling is able to come back here at all before I graduate that is probably what will happen :)

Then I'll finally have my own kid to crochet for instead of this adorable little thing (my friend's baby Kinley)

I mean, every baby needs a pumpkin hat in October!

Touch

This may be an awkward thing to say... but I'm just gonna come straight out and say it.

I miss being touched. I miss being held. I all in all just miss physical contact.

I don't really have people that just hug me. So on a day to day basis, I am rarely touched. And that may be normal for you, but when you get used to it and then it goes away, you start to miss it quite a lot. I need more hugs in my life.

With that said, Sterling is coming up in little over a week for a long weekend. I'm sure we'll be doing plenty of "touching" while he's here ;)

Back on track (ish)

As a follow up to my last post, I just wanted to thank all of you for your love and your prayers.

Things are looking up. I spent my last week working really hard to keep on top of things AND get into the lab. It wasn't easy, I mean a full load of med school credits and 3-4 hours in the lab a day really made me get my act together.

But I got a 92% on my exam today, so I am sure that it paid off.

I still miss Sterling, more than words can describe, but keeping busy is making time go faster and that is what I need more than anything.

And even though school has kept me busy, I made time last week to do things that I enjoy, such as hang out with friends, go to football games, watch Sex and the City, and crochet. Amazing.

So all in all, life is better and I am grateful for your part in that :)

If it was easy, everyone would do it.

This last week has been a trying week.

First of all, I'm back to classes and I am taking a lot of basic sciences. I am trying not to be over confident (I mean, I've got a pretty good background in science...) and stay up to date with the material. Here's the thing about medical school, the content is not hard, it is the massive amount of work expected of you.

I'm also trying to stay connected with my research lab. I did a very poor job of that over the summer and I need to actually do some work this semester. It's hard balancing two different lives: medical student and graduate student.

Oh, and then there is that third life: Army wife. I think that is the hardest one to balance.

At first, Sterling being gone wasn't that bad. I mean, I've kept busy and it's made time fly. Then he visited and I had to say goodbye, again. That's the hard part, saying goodbye over and over again. I have days that fly by so quickly that it doesn't seem like he's gone. But then there are days, like this week, where I can't stop thinking about him. It sounds slightly pathetic, but I miss my husband.  I miss my husband so much that it makes me nauseous. The thing is, I don't get to see him again until December, so there isn't much I can do about the aching. Then on the first of January he starts Ranger school. Guess who doesn't get to have a cell phone during ranger school? Guess who is in ranger school for AT LEAST 3 months? That's a long time to not talk to your husband.

I'm dreading it. I know that I have the rest of September, October, November and December until it happens, but it haunts my thoughts and keeps me up at night.

And I can't focus. I'm working on two doctorate degrees and I can't focus. I can't stop thinking about the 3 months of no communication with my husband, I can't stop thinking of the future deployment(s) where he'll be gone for 6-9 months, I can't stop thinking that I will not get to live with my husband again for another 6 years.

6 years. 6 freaking years.

It's hard to make friends in medical school. Everyone is too busy studying. I mean, I have friends, but not friends that I feel comfortable breaking down and explaining this gut wrenching dread I am dealing with right now. I'm too busy studying to see my best friends from undergrad, who sadly I am growing apart from. Here's the other thing... unless you're in medical school, you don't really get the commitment. And unless you have a husband in the armed forces who is gone, you don't really get the commitment. You can sympathize all you want, but you don't get it.

I feel like the only one I have is 6 years away.

In the past, I would have let this overwhelming sadness take over me and sink into some sort of depression... I'm too busy for that now. And I'm too dedicated. I will finish my DO/PhD program and my marriage will survive this struggle.

God loves me and would not make me suffer without reason.

So I am asking those of you out in blog world to do me a favor and pray for me to stay strong during these trying times. I know I am just fingertips away from slipping into a bad place and it scares me. I'm really sorry about the sad "woe is me" blog post, but I miss having people who know me around and know what's going on in my life.

A lame post from a sort of lame person.

Wow. It has been such a long time since I last updated.

I've finished my first semester of medical school and let me just say, it was a doozie. I definitely had to get used to a whole different style of teaching, studying, and learning. I passed and really I feel like that is an accomplishment, however, I feel that I am more ready for my next semester and the rest of med school.

Sterling got to come up and visit for a couple weeks. It was so great to see him. I can't explain how wonderful it was to spend time with him. However, it was also difficult. He had nothing to do and grew bored really fast and was ready to get started with his next set of training and I of course was busy with school. We had a great time together, but I could tell he was ready to go, which was kind of heartbreaking, but I can totally understand. He told me he was ready to go, but he wasn't ready to leave me again. So now he is in Fort Benning, Georgia and I will be with him again in December. I already can't wait.

Other than that, I've just been working on school. I am sorry I don't have anything more interesting to talk about. I'm kind of all sorts of boring now.

However, I did get a pretty sweet new tattoo.

Dut dut out.

5, 6, 5678. Dut dut out. (It's a guard thing)

Sorry about the lack of posting. Can I just say that life is crazy? I mean, it's JULY.

A little over a month ago I had to say goodbye to my best friend, my husband. It was hard. It was painful. It sucked more than you can imagine. So how am I doing now?

... surprisingly okay. Time is flying. I have my moments where I just want to feel his touch. I just want to get a hug or be spooned, but that is only natural. It's hard, but with each day apart, I am growing more and more confident that we CAN do this. We have to.

So, I started medical school. It's kind of hard, who'd have thought? And then the whole second doctoral degree on top of that makes it no easy endeavor. But man oh man do I thrive in the chaos. I'm on top of my game right now and I love it. I love going to bed knowing that I am one day closer to being a doctor. It's an amazing feeling. I can honestly say that I feel like I am right where I belong now, even though Sterling is not with me.

God is good :) He hasn't given us anything we can't handle.

I'm really optimistic right now... I'll have to bookmark this post so that in future days of stress I can return to it and remember that God is good. So good.

And with that, I need to write a review article and study for Anatomy. Haha, happy 4th!

Goodbye's suck.

Monday morning I thought I was going to be sick. The thought of Sterling leaving gave me not just emotional, but real physical pain. It still does when I think about it. I've been trying to keep my days so busy that by the time I get time to rest, that is all my body and mind wants to do. I'm afraid to sit too long because I know that my ache will just grow. I know, I know, this is only day two of a six year journey.

We'll get through this and we'll be stronger for it, I just wish it didn't hurt so dang much.

Please pray for Sterling and I. I know that while he is very excited about starting his military career, he is hurting as well.

In the meantime, I'll be busy studying. As always.

It's been a while, eh?

I know, I know, it's been A LONG time since I've actually updated this thing. As I know that this is the main way that some of you keep up, I apologize.

Last month was a never-ending trip for Sterling. He was gone for more than half of the month to various conferences and award ceremonies and I was busy with the dog and studying. This month... well this month has been no better and will get no better!

The first week of May I had finals. I was worried about them, but I passed all my classes and everything got done. I also had the opportunity to TA (teaching assistant) for second year medical students in a digestive microbiology lab practical. It was a huge learning experience and also kind of funny as I'll be taking this class in two years haha!

Sterling graduated with his masters in geography on the 6th. It was probably the longest graduation ceremony I have ever been to. I'm so proud of him, but I'll be glad to not have to sit through another one of those any time soon! On the 7th, Sterling was officially commissioned as a second lieutenant in the Army. It was a really nice ceremony and I got to pin on one of his ranks. On the 8th, my older sister, Amy, finally graduated with her degree in chemical engineering! Keep her in your prayers for a job!

This past weekend (14th and 15th) I was a bridesmaid in Ms. Andrea Pietrykowski, oops! I mean MRS. Andrea MILLER's wedding :). Andrea and her family were so great and they got Sterling and I a hotel room for the entire weekend. We had such a great time. We drank too much... but we were the life of the party (other than the bride and groom of course) and we spent the night dancing and telling stories and just having a wonderful time. It is exactly what we needed :)

I started my first summer class this week... Statistics. Ugh. But it's online so maybe that's better?
Sterling and I also got a roommate. Her name is Emaly and she will be living with me for the next two years. So far we are getting along great and I think that she is going to be a great roommate.

This weekend is Sterling's last weekend in Michigan. We are having a going away party for him on Friday night and that should be a great time. I'm still not sure if I am prepared for what is coming, but at this point I have no choice. For those of you who don't know, on the 23rd, Sterling is leaving for Ft. Knox where he will work at a summer training (called LTC) that he actually went to, that is for ROTC cadets. After that (around August) he is going to Ft. Benning, Georgia for his BOLC (Basic for Officers) training. That will get over around December and hopefully he will have some time off for the holidays. After that, he is going to ranger school which is also in Ft. Benning. When he finishes with that he will go to his assigned post in Ft. Campbell, TN, the 101st Airborne (which is where he wanted to go) to start his career as an Infantry Officer. He'll most likely get deployed his second or third year out, though we won't know for a while.

I am so proud of everything Sterling has done. He has been named the top cadet in Michigan and he has been picked for all of the places that he picked as first choice. I know he is going to do great things in the Army.

So now you may be wondering, what about me? Well, I will be here in Michigan for at least the next six years. Sterling and I will do our best to visit, but we won't be living together until I am finished with school. It's sad to think about. Really depressing actually. But we'll get through it. Mainly because I am going to be so busy with school I won't have time to miss him. I used to think that getting into the DO/PhD program was God's way of telling me I should be a research physician... now I think that he is just trying to keep me really busy so I don't get too sad.

In other news, I have found a great lab to do research in. I love my project and I love coming to work. In fact sometimes it's hard to go home, but I know I have a puppy waiting :)

My good friend just had a baby and I've developed a new love... crocheting baby hats. Mainly because I can finish one off in a couple hours. If you know anyone who needs a baby hat, you let me know :)

Procrastinating by updating!

Hello friends! Sorry I've been absent from the blogging world lately, however, I have been keeping up to date with yours :) Life has been kind of hectic lately and I just haven't made time to update. But now I am because I don't want to go and take pictures of 130 gut samples...

1. First of all, I officially joined a lab and am starting to work on my actual PhD work. I am working in a lab where we study the relationship between the gut and bone loss. It sounds like a stretch, but it's pretty cool stuff. I am also working on a project on studying the benefits of probiotics on bone loss, but ultimately we would like to treat patients with diseases like IBD and Crohn's with the probiotics to increase health in both the gut and the bone. This is a shout out to you Taylor... I'm going to feed you bacteria some day!
While it has been really exciting finding a lab and joining it and finding a place here at MSU where I fit in and belong, it's also a really scary transition. I need to know things now. The current grad student is defending her work next week, then she is leaving for her post-doc at NYU. I will be second in command and one of the head honcho's around here. Kind of intimidating.

2. Sterling is gone again... He is actually traveling and away for half of the month in April. It's kind of crazy actually. Let's see, last weekend I dropped him off Friday morning to go to Gettysburg for the weekend (with ROTC) and I picked him up Sunday night. Monday morning I dropped him off at the airport to go to Seattle for a conference to present his research (from his masters work) and I get to pick him up Thursday night. Then on Sunday morning I will take him to the airport again to go to Virginia and I think I will pick him up next Thursday. Traveling man. It's kind of a prelude to what is on the horizon...

3. We have Sterling's leave date: May 23rd. Yeah, that's a little too soon for me. There is nothing I can do about it, but accept it and deal with it. Doesn't make it suck any less.

4. I am moving out of my apartment and into a house in a few months! Am I excited? So excited! The main reason is the fenced in backyard. My life will be so much easier! Especially with Sterling gone... that poor dog doesn't get nearly as much exercise as he would like so this will be wonderful for him. Plus I will have a roommate which will help when Sterling is away.

5. I am starting medical school in a few months. While I love the graduate program I am in here at MSU, I am so excited to start taking med classes. I mean, medical school was my goal for so long and now I am finally there! It's going to be hard (especially since I'm also doing grad school) but it will be so worth it in the end. Someday (in the far away future) I'll graduate and be able to do whatever I want... I just don't know what that is at the moment haha!

Okay, I think that I don't really have anything else new going on... so unfortunately, I need to get back to the reading and get back to taking pictures of guts (they are pretty cool looking though :))

Spring is in the air!

The weather makes me warm inside. I love being able to take my dog for a walk/run and not have to bundle up like I'm hiking through Antarctica. I know that we still have some cold days ahead, but I also know that spring is right on our doorstep!

Currently, I am still looking for a place to live come May. I think I may have found the house, but the landlord lives in Maryland which makes coordinating kind of hard. Because of this, I may have to keep looking. Is it too much to ask for a reasonably priced rental house with two bedrooms, a fenced in backyard, and a washer and dryer? I guess so. I am hoping to move mid-May so that Sterling can help before he leaves haha! 

On that note, I've come to terms with my husband leaving. I'm (for the moment) at peace with the fact that we won't be living together for the next six or so years. After getting together with some of our other married couple friends (who shall remain nameless) that are having some issues with their first year of marriage, we've realized that we have been building a really good foundation for our long-distance marriage that is coming up quite quickly. I'm not saying that I won't be sad/upset when he leaves or that I won't miss him terribly, but it's okay that he's going. Actually, it's almost a good thing (almost... but not really). You see, I finally met with the DO/PhD coordinator and planned out my next six years of school. Starting at the end of June I will officially have no life. Classes, research, and studying will consume me. While I would love to have Sterling around (because I think he's wonderful), I know that I would be distracted a lot. Mainly because we have so much fun together and I'd rather hang out with him than study. So for that reason, it's ALMOST a good thing he's leaving. Almost. Not really though.

Did I say we've been training for a half marathon? Well rather... we are starting to train haha! Basically I have to increase a mile a week to get up to 13 miles by race time. I'm hoping to have a rocking bod by the end of May for all the weddings I am in and this will definitely help. The warm weather also helps. Running on a treadmill stinks!

Okay, I need to get back to work/studying. As always.

An update

Right after that last post, we got Sterlings training dates.

He's leaving the end of May/beginning of June. We don't know where his base is yet, that news will come in March (which starts tomorrow, sick).

So first he starts off as an officer at LTC (the same training he went to two summers ago). The good news is that I'll get to talk to him frequently and he may be able to come up for our one year anniversary (awesome!). That ends in the beginning of August and then he'll have some time off (maybe come home...) and then he'll start his infantry basic training at the end of August. That will go until the beginning of December and then hopefully he'll get to come home for the holidays before he starts Ranger School in January.

It's real now.

Hopefully he'll get to stay in May long enough to do our half marathon (on the 22nd).

Okay, I need to study now. Le sigh, such is the life of a grad student.

I am an... Army Wife?

Army wife?

A few years ago, those words meant that you graduated high school, married and got knocked up (in no particular order) to a guy going off to basic. Don't get me wrong, I do respect those ladies... however, I had more plans for my life than to become a wife who stays home with her three kids whom she's had before she's old enough to even buy a drink to help comfort herself.

But then Sterling joined the Army and my life changed. I realized that the Army isn't just for people who don't know what they want to do when they finish high school. The Army isn't for people with no where else to turn. It's also for educated people. It's also for people looking to make a good career.

So I got used to the idea that Sterling was in the Army. But ROTC isn't the real Army (I like to say that he's playing pretend Army haha...) I got used to hearing him talk about his classes and his officers and yada yada. The Army had infiltrated our home.

Then Sterling and I got married and we got to explain to a lot of people our life plans. They always include him being gone for seven or eight years. But that's in the future. There is no reason to dwell/worry about it now. Let's just get married and have a good time with each other.

And that is exactly what we have been doing. Except... March is creeping around the corner and that is when he will get his first set of real orders. We already know that he is branching infantry (another thing I like to push to the future to worry about), but we have no idea when he will be leaving. It could be June, October, December, or any time in between or longer. The infamous Army waiting game.

I've been really good at putting a good face on about Sterling leaving.
First he'll go to basic officer leadership course (like basic training for officers) and that is about 3 months. Then he'll go to ranger school which is about another 3 months (I believe). Then he'll go to his base to train with his unit... we'll find out where this base is in March as well (right now we are thinking either Kentucky or North Carolina). Sterling tells me that all of that will take up most of his first year. Normally their second year out they get deployed for 9-12 months. Suck. Then he'll come back to live on his designated base. The thing is, for what Sterling wants to do, there are no bases in Michigan. Which is where I'll be. In school. Really busy. Then he goes back and forth between working on base and deployments until his time is up. If he makes it a career, that's eight years. If he doesn't, then that's five years.

All the while, I'll be back here in Michigan.

I'm refusing to get upset until it's actually something to get upset about. But it is really hard. I'm going to miss how much fun we have together. He's not only my husband, but my best friend. I'm going to miss sleeping with him.

It's hard to think about, but I've been thinking more and more on it lately.

One of the officers from Sterling's program said this to me at the Military Ball a few weeks ago:

"If it was easy, everyone would do it"

So true.

Valentines Day

I love...
my husband
Hankus Magankus
my family (including the in-laws of course)
my church, Riverview
my lifegroup
my graduate program
my electric blanket
chocolate cupcakes
black coffee
my kindle
crocheting
the beach
my bridesmaids (who I miss dearly...  including you Tay tay)
my CMU friends
my MSU friends


and most of all, my loving Father.


Happy Valentines Day everyone! Take some time today to let your loved ones know how much you love them :)

Bad mood... fixed.

I'm frustrated with myself.
The house is a mess.
I have no clue what is going on in my genetics class.
I have three papers to read before class tomorrow.
I have a meeting with my PI at 11am tomorrow morning and I need to get into work by 7am to get an rtPCR running (it takes 2 and 1/2 hours...).
I have a paper and a presentation next week that I haven't started on.
We need groceries.
The bathrooms need to be cleaned.
Laundry needs to be done.
Miles need to be run.

Being a good wife and a good grad student isn't easy work.

***************************************************************************

I'm choosing to not be frustrated.

It's just shoes clothes messing up the place, no biggie.

I should find a good reference text book for genetics to get caught up. 

Only one of the papers is going to be heavily discussed tomorrow, I can get that read by class time. 

My PI is super nice and she'll understand if I don't have all of my results ready. 

I have the rest of the week/weekend to get stuff done for next week. 

We have plenty of food and we're fine. 

Eh, they're not that bad. 

There are only a couple loads of laundry... it'll get done. 

Miles will be run. I've already done 11 this week. That's pretty awesome in itself.

My husband loves me as I am. I am a smart girl.

****************************************************************************

I'm in a better place now. It's amazing how you can talk yourself out of a bad mood :)

Currents (copied from Alex... she's so inspiring!)

Thoughts: I should be reading for my Microbial Pathogenesis class tomorrow instead of reading/writing blogs. 

I love tanning (I went this afternoon... glorious). 

Blessings: My husband. He keeps me motivated when I don't want to do what I should. Except right now because he doesn't know that I'm not working on homework...

Hank. I seriously love my dog. He has been really sick the past couple of days and all I want to do is cuddle up with him and love on him. 

Although I take it for granted sometimes, being in the DO/PhD program. Having my education funded. Being able to really make a difference someday (when I eventually get done with school)

Our lifegroup. We were so blessed to already have a home church and to meet 20-something year olds to share our lives with. No one in the group is the same and everyone brings something else to the table. All of them are wonderful people.

Our bridge card. I am so thankful that we have this aid this year. I was able to buy so much food to cook and freeze for the month and I know that not everyone can do that. Thank you tax payers.

Struggles: This new budget. I hate having an allowance. 

Committing to working out 6 times (with stretching and walking counting for 2 of those days) in preparation for my half marathon in May. But dang will I look good.

Loving myself so I can love my husband better.

Classes. Oh are they going to be tough this semester. So. Much. Reading.

Projects: Similar to Alex... I have a lot. Most of them have to do with crocheting. I too, am working on an etsy page. Though, realistically I won't have things up and going until summer time and by then who wants to buy hats and scarfs??

Here's some of the things I am working on though: Snowflake doily suncatchers, cross stitch "Welcome" sign, doily angels, shawl, fat bottomed purses, and some odds and ends jewelry making.

Favorites: As I said earlier, tanning.

Running (I did 4 miles earlier today)

Crocheting.

Reading my nerdy books (If you like the Lord of the Rings you would like this series: The Wheel of Time)

The piano music Sterling has on. Every song puts me in a place. The current one sounds like a lullaby... I feel like I should be going to bed. Soon.

My clean house and freezer stocked full of food. I took advantage of this three day weekend by buying an enormous amount of food and cooking a TON of stuff. I made lasagna, goulash, veggie bean chili, eggplant parmesan, taco meat, hamburgers, chicken breasts, meatloaf, butternut squash soup, tomato-avocado salad, salsa, and lots of sandwiches. Oh and for fun I also made (from scratch) chocolate cupcakes with frosting. My freezer is stocked for the month. This is such a relief. Also, the laundry is done, the floors are vacuumed, the bathrooms are wiped down... all that needs to be done is the kitchen. And I am not looking forward to that.

Desires: To be on a beach.

To not worry about student loans.

To know where I am going to live next year.

To be closer to my family.

To go to bed. I'm tizired already. Oh but wait... I have reading. Sick.

To see all my friends from MP.

And with that, I leave you to do that reading I've been complaining about. Ughhhhhhh. At least I have diet coke and chocolate cupcakes!