My fitness journey

This is a subject that's been on my mind a lot lately and this is my space to release my thoughts. So here goes...

My whole life I've struggled with my physical appearance. There have been times that this has consumed my life and there have been moments where I've accepted my body. I can't say that this is something I've overcome because there are definitely times when I just hate on myself. But really, who doesn't? We live in such a toxic social world that defines beauty in such an unrealistic way. I believe that there are people out there trying to send out more positive messages about loving yourself the way you are, but we have a long way to go. On the other hand, I don't think we should be complacent either. We can always better ourselves (in a healthy way) so why not strive to be the best version of you that you can be?

I titled this post "my fitness journey" because I want to lead into where I'm currently at... we'll get there.

I've never been super athletic. I was a cheerleader in high school (probably not helping the self esteem issues) and I was in colorguard in both high school and college. While these kept me somewhat in shape, I still could barely run a mile or have any real endurance strength. Throughout college I dabbled in lots of different workout routines. I used the elliptical, run or go to workout classes like yoga or kickboxing.  I would always get bored though and I always dreaded working out. It wasn't something I enjoyed and it wasn't something that I did consistently in my life. I would go on crash diets and there were times that I would just not eat at all in an attempt to lose weight and feel better about myself. It's been a struggle. I also dated people who didn't make me feel better about myself and really that probably took the biggest toll on my self esteem.

Then I started dating a man who made me love myself again. I wound up marrying this guy and I'm always so grateful for the loving and supportive relationship we have. He's never made me feel less about myself and at the same time he motivated me to be better and to take action about my physical appearance since it was obviously something I was unhappy about. At first I took up running. I actually enjoy running... but I'm a fair weather runner and as we know in Michigan, fair weather can be hard to come by. After running a half marathon, I wanted to take a break from running, but I didn't know what to do exercise-wise. As I said earlier, I just got bored with the typical gym stuff and I was very unmotivated. About this time, Sterling was becoming more and more involved with crossfit workouts and he encouraged me to join a local box (that's what us cool kids call a crossfit gym...). At first I was hesitant. I didn't know how to do most of the stuff that I saw them doing online when I looked it up and I didn't want to look like a weak, chubby idiot. I finally got the courage to just go and try it out. I can't say I was hooked after the first WOD (workout of the day)... mainly because I couldn't walk for a week afterwards... but I was excited about doing something different and learning some new stuff.

This is the point in the blog where I'm going to talk about my love for crossfit. There is a lot of negative hype out there about crossfit and one of the things I see complained about the most is how much crossfit athletes talk about crossfit. I don't get that. You love your job, you talk about it. You love a sports team, you talk about it. You love a pet, you talk about it. I could go on, but I think you get my point. When you love something you share that with others. And crossfit people really love what they are doing. So I'm going to talk about it, and you can roll your eyes and stop reading... or you can read on and find out why I love it.

So starting off at the box, I knew nothing. I was learning how to do deadlifts and push presses with PVC pipe and the idea of doing burpees was the worst thing in the world for me. But I kept at it. I kept at it because of the people that I work out with. That's what I love about crossfit and that's what I love about my box... the people. Not once have I ever felt bad about not knowing how to do something or being corrected when I do something wrong. I've never felt bad about myself because that guy over there is doing 10 times the amount I can. I've always felt supported and encouraged to do my own personal best. Rarely do I do the workout with the weight that is perscribed, but that doesn't matter... I still get my high-fives at the end of the workout. I get cheered and I get pushed to do my very best... and my very best just keeps getting better. The people and the community are what keep me from giving up and what keeps me motivated and excited about new challenges. I'm lucky enough to have an awesome group of people I work out with at 6am and my day starts awesomely because of them.

I didn't mean to turn this into a crossfit blog, but really this community of people have changed me. Although I have my moments where I still feel bad about myself, crossfit has given me a confidence that is welcome and needed in such a negative world. Working out is no longer a dreaded chore, but rather an fun/challenging lifestyle. And that's what it should be.