Eternal Perspective

I've mentioned before how even though I don't have time to spare, in my spare time I volunteer with a group from my church called Chaos. Chaos is aptly named because it is a group of middle school, or more specifically 7th and 8th grade boys and girls. I am the lifegroup leader of the 8th grade girls and I am continuously learning from them.

I don't know about you, but remembering my middle school years makes me want to cringe. How awkward was that time of life? I remember one time I wore overalls (they were cool... especially with one strap not buckled) and some person came up behind me and gave me this super wedgie. I mean, it's super funny now to think about, but at the time I was so embarrassed! But I feel like that was middle school. Embarrassing.

Now-a-days though, my girls have it rough. I feel like they talk about big life issues that I never would have faced when I was their age. Technology has definitely had a hand in it. It's sometimes hard for me to relate to them, but I just love on them as much as I can because some of them don't see that at school or home as much as they should.

I thought about stepping down this semester since I have so much school to worry about. 23+ credits, electives, board exams coming up, seminars, etc... But I am so glad that I didn't. As I said, I learn so much from these girls and this ministry that to give it up would cause me more stress right now I think. Even though it's chaotic, it's calming.

Lately I haven't been sleeping. I have been tired all day and lacking motivation. Yesterday was one of those days. I had barely studied all day and I just felt no motivation to get anything done. Days like this are detrimental during school because you get so behind. Currently I have about 8 lectures to catch up on and a lot of studying to do. I also have been lacking motivation to work out and all that extra eating I did during the holidays really caught up. So I put on my "fat jeans" (girls, you know what I'm talking about) which now fit just fine, and headed to Chaos last night feeling very defeated. I hadn't studied and I gained weight. Woe is me, let's have a pity party.

In Chaos, we're teaching the kids about the book of Phillipians which is quickly becoming one of my favorite books. In our lifegroups, we were discussing the eternal perspective that Paul has while he's writing this letter... I mean, the guy is in jail and is still super encouraging, loving, and motivated to share his love with his friends in Phillipi. I asked the girls what they thought eternal perspective means, or what it meant to them. They said it beautifully (paraphrasing): Don't worry about this world, it's not where we belong.

Gosh I love those girls for how smart they are.

Don't worry about this world. It is NOT where you belong. What does that even mean (I asked them)? And they replied with typical middle school things "When your parents tick you off...", "When you don't get to do what you want...", "When school is hard..." "...DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT!"

I know I totally did the punctuation wrong up there... not worried about it.

Anyway, I've been so stressed lately. About school, time, sleeping (especially sleeping), and most of the time I worry about my husband as well. I'm pretty good at keeping that worry under control, but when it all adds up, especially with a lack of sleep, I kind of lose it. I feel like being reminded to not worry about this world because this is not where I belong, is a message I needed to hear. I'm not of this world because I am with Christ. I am destined for Heaven and nothing I do here on earth will change that. That's a pretty awesome truth that I often forget, but is so relieving when I remember it.

This isn't to say that I'm going to stop worrying about all the things I've listed above. But hopefully when I do start to worry, I can find peace in knowing I'm not of this world and instead of getting discouraged, be encouraged to move on and deal with whatever is in front of me.